Falling Down In Public

Yesterday I went out for a walk, stopping by several book stores along College St looking for a specific book and generally having a nice little Sunday. When I decided it was time to head home, I grabbed the High Park street car, which lets you off at some random point in the south-easterly section of High Park. I live at the central-north section of the park, so I figured a nice way to cap off my Sunday would be a pleasant walk through the park.

I decide to veer off the road and take a path through the trees and bushes, as it didn't look to be too messy. It was pretty. What I did not realize though, was that i was headed in the direction of the off-leash area of the High Park Dog Park. For obvious reasons, the dog park is fenced in.



So I'm walking through the tress and the bushes and I come to this fence. On the other side are a hand full of people walking their dogs. To my left is a gate, so i walk to it and push on it only to find that it is bolted shut, something they would do to discourage use of the icy trails in the winter. So I grab the gate with my hand and throw my leg up. Once I was sure I had good footing, I swung my body to get myself over the fence. Only the gate swung open, ruining whatever precarious balance I had. My legs go completely out from under my and I have become that idiot that couldn't operate a gate and instead fell flat on his face.

I pick myself up off the ground and let out a quick chuckle at the shocked "oh my!" that came from one of the dog owners who saw this whole thing. I brushed myself off and zoomed outta there as fast as I could. HOW EMBARRASSING!



And this is my point. Falling down is always embarrassing. It is always the result of being too stupid to pull off an everyday maneuver like 'walking' or 'sitting on a chair'. In this case, i was the weirdo who emerged from the woods and was too stupid to operate a gate. In other cases, I'm the idiot who couldn't turn around during a basketball game. Or the moron who couldn't balance himself while walking down a hill.

It is made worse by the fact that usually when you fall, the people around you do not fall. You really can't help but draw attention to yourself when your feet go out from under your arms flail in every direction and you let out a loud "whooaaaAHHH!" And I know for sure that everyone around is thinking "Oh man, what a bafoon! That idiot can't even walk! Hilarious!" How do I know they're thinking this? Because this is exactly what I am thinking when ever I see someone fall. Seeing someone fall is consistently funny, and I think most people agree.



When you fall, it is like becoming a baby for the briefest of moments. Even small children can walk and stand and sit and keep themselves generally balanced. You're an adult, man, how dumb to you have to be to fall down?