Hurting Animals

I would not necessarily call myself an animal lover. Sure, I like them and all. Dogs especially (not scary dogs though, like fuckin' Cujo.) and while I am a vegetarian, it is predominately for health/dietary preferences and not really because I'm against the idea of eating animals (I mean, I guess I am against the idea of eating animals, but it's just not top of the list for why I don't eat'm, y'know?) I've had pets in the past and I liked them very much, especially Molson, a beagle who lived for 14ish years, and Bear, a shitzu that now resides on a farm somewhere and has changed it's name to Princess (uhg.)

Anyway, I was hanging out at a friend's place the other day, and he recently started dating this girl who worked in a pet store. He had two cats the last time i saw him, but now he has those same two cats, like a million snakes and two of THESE:



Sugar Gliders! Anyway, the dude's girlfriend was all like, 'man, pick them up and play with them' and i was all like 'no way' and then the sugar gliders were all like '-a terrifying sound impossible to type-' and i was like 'jesus christ!'

I also wasn't too keen to hold on to the snakes, even though loved to pick up snakes at the cottage when I was a kid and throw them at my sister. Inevitably, I was accused of being afraid of animals. But that's not the case, dudes!

The truth is that I am afraid of my own amazing strength. While I am not an animal lover, I take no pleasure in the pain or death of living things. Seeing a helpless animal shivering in pain has been scientifically proven to to be the most heart breaking thing in the world, next to a child blowing out the candles on a birthday cake alone in a room because no one showed up to his party. I would not be able to take it if I accidentally broke the snake or pulled a Lenny from Of Mice and Men on the sugar glider. Who knows what Hulk-like creature lurks under this Bruce Banner physique?



I guess that's why I like dogs. It is pretty hard to accidentally hurt a dog. You'd pretty much have to do it on purpose, in which case you are a monster. Unless you are my brother, who recently stepped on his puppy and broke it's leg.



Don't worry, everyone, he feels terrible.